FAUNA  CEOs

The Board of Directors · Est. during a meeting that ran long

FAUNA CEOs

Animal-headed executives promoted beyond reason. Serious suits, deeply unserious heads. The boardroom is feral. On #Hedera 🐾

The Board of Directors, assembled — nine animal-headed executives in serious suits, posed for the quarterly portrait.
Meet the Board Read the Filings

The Concept

This is literally your manager.

A normal body. A serious suit. A deeply unserious head. Every executive on the Board was promoted beyond reason — which remains the company’s only known HR policy.

Mandrill, Manager of Executive Presence
Mandrill Executive Presence
King Cobra, Manager of Negotiations
King Cobra Negotiations
Capybara, Intern of Workplace Wellbeing
Capybara Workplace Wellbeing
Toucan, Analyst of Marketing
Toucan Marketing

The Board — Directory

Every executive, promoted beyond reason.

  • Hammer-headed Fruit Bat, CEO of Brand Voice
    Hammer-headed Fruit BatBrand VoiceCEO · #1
  • Nudibranch, C-Suite of Brand Palette
    NudibranchBrand PaletteC-Suite · #2
  • Indri, C-Suite of Internal Comms
    IndriInternal CommsC-Suite · #3
  • Olm, C-Suite of Deep Archives
    OlmDeep ArchivesC-Suite · #4
  • Handfish, C-Suite of Hands-on Management
    HandfishHands-on ManagementC-Suite · #5
  • Pink Fairy Armadillo, C-Suite of Executive Protection
    Pink Fairy ArmadilloExecutive ProtectionC-Suite · #6
  • Babirusa, C-Suite of Self-Assessment
    BabirusaSelf-AssessmentC-Suite · #7
  • Magnificent Frigatebird, C-Suite of Self-Promotion
    Magnificent FrigatebirdSelf-PromotionC-Suite · #8
  • Oarfish, C-Suite of Doomsaying
    OarfishDoomsayingC-Suite · #9
  • Weasel, VP of Accounts
    WeaselAccountsVP · #17
  • Newt, VP of Analysis
    NewtAnalysisVP · #18
  • Weasel, VP of Accounts
    WeaselAccountsVP · #21
  • Pangolin, VP of Data Protection
    PangolinData ProtectionVP · #30
  • Matamata Turtle, VP of Camouflage
    Matamata TurtleCamouflageVP · #34
  • Andean Condor, VP of Executive Search
    Andean CondorExecutive SearchVP · #35
  • Sawfish, VP of Legal
    SawfishLegalVP · #36
  • Giant Clam, VP of Holdings
    Giant ClamHoldingsVP · #37
  • Goliath Frog, VP of Heavy Lifting
    Goliath FrogHeavy LiftingVP · #38
  • Leafy Seadragon, VP of Camouflage
    Leafy SeadragonCamouflageVP · #39
  • Nautilus, VP of Legacy Systems
    NautilusLegacy SystemsVP · #40
  • Newt, VP of Analysis
    NewtAnalysisVP · #41
  • Pangolin, VP of Data Protection
    PangolinData ProtectionVP · #42
  • Bobbit Worm, VP of Ambush Hiring
    Bobbit WormAmbush HiringVP · #43
  • Marine Iguana, VP of Sustainability
    Marine IguanaSustainabilityVP · #44
  • Star-nosed Mole, VP of Market Research
    Star-nosed MoleMarket ResearchVP · #45
  • Camel Spider, VP of Rumours
    Camel SpiderRumoursVP · #47
  • Assassin Bug, VP of Quiet Layoffs
    Assassin BugQuiet LayoffsVP · #48
  • Marine Iguana, VP of Sustainability
    Marine IguanaSustainabilityVP · #49
  • Gharial, VP of Procurement
    GharialProcurementVP · #51
  • Giant Isopod, Director of Cost Reduction
    Giant IsopodCost ReductionDirector · #52
  • Matamata Turtle, Director of Camouflage
    Matamata TurtleCamouflageDirector · #53
  • Numbat, Director of Pest Control
    NumbatPest ControlDirector · #54
  • Velvet Worm, Director of Sales
    Velvet WormSalesDirector · #55
  • Gerenuk, Director of Reach
    GerenukReachDirector · #57
  • Tokay Gecko, Director of Night Support
    Tokay GeckoNight SupportDirector · #59
  • Frogfish, Director of Recruitment
    FrogfishRecruitmentDirector · #60
  • Lionfish, Director of Market Expansion
    LionfishMarket ExpansionDirector · #62
  • Sarcastic Fringehead, Director of Open Mouth
    Sarcastic FringeheadOpen MouthDirector · #63
  • Colugo, Director of Transformation
    ColugoTransformationDirector · #65
  • Aye-aye, Director of Special Projects
    Aye-ayeSpecial ProjectsDirector · #66
  • Glass Frog, Director of Transparency
    Glass FrogTransparencyDirector · #67
  • Bobbit Worm, Director of Ambush Hiring
    Bobbit WormAmbush HiringDirector · #68
  • Tawny Frogmouth, Director of Disapproval
    Tawny FrogmouthDisapprovalDirector · #69
  • Great Potoo, Director of Surveillance
    Great PotooSurveillanceDirector · #70
  • Assassin Bug, Director of Quiet Layoffs
    Assassin BugQuiet LayoffsDirector · #71
  • Sturgeon, Director of Premium Products
    SturgeonPremium ProductsDirector · #72
  • Portuguese Man o' War, Director of Joint Ventures
    Portuguese Man o' WarJoint VenturesDirector · #73
  • Lungless Salamander, Director of Fresh Air
    Lungless SalamanderFresh AirDirector · #75
  • Mimic Octopus, Director of Impersonation
    Mimic OctopusImpersonationDirector · #76
  • Yeti Crab, Director of Remote Outposts
    Yeti CrabRemote OutpostsDirector · #77
  • Fossa, Director of Talent Poaching
    FossaTalent PoachingDirector · #80
  • Praying Mantis, Director of Performance Reviews
    Praying MantisPerformance ReviewsDirector · #81
  • Capercaillie, Director of Territory
    CapercaillieTerritoryDirector · #84
  • Stonefish, Director of Hidden Costs
    StonefishHidden CostsDirector · #90
  • Basilisk Lizard, Director of Agile
    Basilisk LizardAgileDirector · #99
  • Resplendent Quetzal, Director of Brand Aesthetics
    Resplendent QuetzalBrand AestheticsDirector · #102
  • Sea Pig, Director of Bottom Line
    Sea PigBottom LineDirector · #109
  • Stonefish, Director of Hidden Costs
    StonefishHidden CostsDirector · #115
  • Japanese Spider Crab, Director of Long Reach
    Japanese Spider CrabLong ReachDirector · #117
  • Binturong, Director of Facilities
    BinturongFacilitiesDirector · #118
  • Resplendent Quetzal, Director of Brand Aesthetics
    Resplendent QuetzalBrand AestheticsDirector · #119
  • Spiny Bush Viper, Director of Aesthetics
    Spiny Bush ViperAestheticsDirector · #120
  • Praying Mantis, Director of Performance Reviews
    Praying MantisPerformance ReviewsDirector · #125
  • Wallace's Flying Frog, Director of Remote Work
    Wallace's Flying FrogRemote WorkDirector · #126
  • Shoebill, Director of Enforcement
    ShoebillEnforcementDirector · #128
  • Basilisk Lizard, Director of Agile
    Basilisk LizardAgileDirector · #129
  • Basket Star, Director of Networking
    Basket StarNetworkingDirector · #130
  • Blobfish, Director of Morale
    BlobfishMoraleDirector · #131
  • Darwin's Frog, Director of Incubation
    Darwin's FrogIncubationDirector · #134
  • Satanic Leaf-tailed Gecko, Director of Stealth Ops
    Satanic Leaf-tailed GeckoStealth OpsDirector · #135
  • Stonefish, Director of Hidden Costs
    StonefishHidden CostsDirector · #136
  • Atlas Moth, Director of Optics
    Atlas MothOpticsDirector · #137
  • Red-eyed Tree Frog, Director of Wake-up Calls
    Red-eyed Tree FrogWake-up CallsDirector · #141
  • Coconut Crab, Director of Procurement
    Coconut CrabProcurementDirector · #144
  • Dik-dik, Director of Junior Analytics
    Dik-dikJunior AnalyticsDirector · #145
  • Hammerhead Shark, Director of Business Development
    Hammerhead SharkBusiness DevelopmentDirector · #146
  • Box Jellyfish, Director of Health & Safety
    Box JellyfishHealth & SafetyDirector · #148
  • Thorny Devil, Director of Risk
    Thorny DevilRiskDirector · #149
  • Bombardier Beetle, Director of Escalations
    Bombardier BeetleEscalationsDirector · #151
  • Electric Eel, Manager of Performance Reviews
    Electric EelPerformance ReviewsManager · #152
  • Surinam Toad, Manager of Talent Acquisition
    Surinam ToadTalent AcquisitionManager · #154
  • Blobfish, Manager of Morale
    BlobfishMoraleManager · #156
  • King Cobra, Manager of Negotiations
    King CobraNegotiationsManager · #160
  • Blue Dragon, Manager of Outsourcing
    Blue DragonOutsourcingManager · #161
  • King Vulture, Manager of Asset Recovery
    King VultureAsset RecoveryManager · #163
  • King Cobra, Manager of Negotiations
    King CobraNegotiationsManager · #166
  • Wobbegong, Manager of Workplace Camouflage
    WobbegongWorkplace CamouflageManager · #167
  • Peacock, Manager of Personal Brand
    PeacockPersonal BrandManager · #169
  • Goliath Beetle, Manager of Heavy Lifting
    Goliath BeetleHeavy LiftingManager · #170
  • Marabou Stork, Manager of Wind-down
    Marabou StorkWind-downManager · #176
  • Bat, Manager of Night Operations
    BatNight OperationsManager · #178
  • Hoopoe, Manager of Crown Affairs
    HoopoeCrown AffairsManager · #179
  • Gulper Eel, Manager of Scope Creep
    Gulper EelScope CreepManager · #180
  • Barreleye, Manager of Foresight
    BarreleyeForesightManager · #185
  • Barreleye, Manager of Foresight
    BarreleyeForesightManager · #191
  • Mudskipper, Manager of Cross-functional
    MudskipperCross-functionalManager · #198
  • Tomato Frog, Manager of Brand Colour
    Tomato FrogBrand ColourManager · #201
  • Mudskipper, Manager of Cross-functional
    MudskipperCross-functionalManager · #202
  • King Cobra, Manager of Negotiations
    King CobraNegotiationsManager · #203
  • Caecilian, Manager of Org Structure
    CaecilianOrg StructureManager · #204
  • Cuttlefish, Manager of Brand
    CuttlefishBrandManager · #205
  • Maned Wolf, Manager of Regional Expansion
    Maned WolfRegional ExpansionManager · #212
  • Solenodon, Manager of Legacy R&D
    SolenodonLegacy R&DManager · #215
  • King Vulture, Manager of Asset Recovery
    King VultureAsset RecoveryManager · #220
  • Cuttlefish, Manager of Brand
    CuttlefishBrandManager · #224
  • Goldfish, Manager of Memory
    GoldfishMemoryManager · #229
  • Dung Beetle, Manager of Operations
    Dung BeetleOperationsManager · #234
  • Orchid Mantis, Manager of Brand Design
    Orchid MantisBrand DesignManager · #235
  • Maned Wolf, Manager of Regional Expansion
    Maned WolfRegional ExpansionManager · #236
  • Dumbo Octopus, Manager of Remote Workforce
    Dumbo OctopusRemote WorkforceManager · #237
  • Mudskipper, Manager of Cross-functional
    MudskipperCross-functionalManager · #238
  • King Cobra, Manager of Negotiations
    King CobraNegotiationsManager · #239
  • Caecilian, Manager of Org Structure
    CaecilianOrg StructureManager · #244
  • Bat, Manager of Night Operations
    BatNight OperationsManager · #245
  • Blue Dragon, Manager of Outsourcing
    Blue DragonOutsourcingManager · #248
  • Horned Lizard, Manager of Defensive Measures
    Horned LizardDefensive MeasuresManager · #250
  • Giant Weta, Manager of Heavy Industry
    Giant WetaHeavy IndustryManager · #252
  • Komodo Dragon, Manager of Debt Recovery
    Komodo DragonDebt RecoveryManager · #253
  • Barreleye, Manager of Foresight
    BarreleyeForesightManager · #256
  • Blue Dragon, Manager of Outsourcing
    Blue DragonOutsourcingManager · #257
  • Scarlet Macaw, Manager of Communications
    Scarlet MacawCommunicationsManager · #259
  • Leafcutter Ant, Manager of Logistics
    Leafcutter AntLogisticsManager · #263
  • Giant Weta, Manager of Heavy Industry
    Giant WetaHeavy IndustryManager · #265
  • Leafcutter Ant, Manager of Logistics
    Leafcutter AntLogisticsManager · #266
  • Sea Cucumber, Manager of Internal Defence
    Sea CucumberInternal DefenceManager · #267
  • Scarlet Macaw, Manager of Communications
    Scarlet MacawCommunicationsManager · #271
  • Pufferfish, Manager of Escalations
    PufferfishEscalationsManager · #273
  • Anglerfish, Manager of Lead Generation
    AnglerfishLead GenerationManager · #275
  • Hoopoe, Manager of Crown Affairs
    HoopoeCrown AffairsManager · #277
  • Blue-footed Booby, Manager of Onboarding
    Blue-footed BoobyOnboardingManager · #278
  • Christmas Tree Worm, Manager of Seasonal Campaigns
    Christmas Tree WormSeasonal CampaignsManager · #280
  • Tomato Frog, Manager of Brand Colour
    Tomato FrogBrand ColourManager · #281
  • Goldfish, Manager of Memory
    GoldfishMemoryManager · #282
  • Proboscis Monkey, Manager of Executive Leadership
    Proboscis MonkeyExecutive LeadershipManager · #283
  • Horned Lizard, Manager of Defensive Measures
    Horned LizardDefensive MeasuresManager · #284
  • Octopus, Manager of Multitasking
    OctopusMultitaskingManager · #286
  • Goldfish, Manager of Memory
    GoldfishMemoryManager · #287
  • Mudskipper, Manager of Cross-functional
    MudskipperCross-functionalManager · #290
  • Crow, Manager of Mergers & Acquisitions
    CrowMergers & AcquisitionsManager · #292
  • Raccoon Dog, Manager of Procurement
    Raccoon DogProcurementManager · #293
  • Caecilian, Manager of Org Structure
    CaecilianOrg StructureManager · #294
  • Helmeted Guineafowl, Manager of Alarm & Escalation
    Helmeted GuineafowlAlarm & EscalationManager · #295
  • Wobbegong, Manager of Workplace Camouflage
    WobbegongWorkplace CamouflageManager · #296
  • Mandrill, Manager of Executive Presence
    MandrillExecutive PresenceManager · #298
  • Gaboon Viper, Manager of Strategy
    Gaboon ViperStrategyManager · #299
  • Naked Mole-Rat, Manager of Facilities
    Naked Mole-RatFacilitiesManager · #300
  • Whip Spider, Manager of Reach
    Whip SpiderReachManager · #301
  • Snow Fox, Manager of Remote Operations
    Snow FoxRemote OperationsManager · #306
  • Marabou Stork, Manager of Wind-down
    Marabou StorkWind-downManager · #307
  • Solenodon, Manager of Legacy R&D
    SolenodonLegacy R&DManager · #308
  • Malayan Tapir, Manager of Mergers
    Malayan TapirMergersManager · #310
  • Snow Fox, Manager of Remote Operations
    Snow FoxRemote OperationsManager · #315
  • Purple Frog, Manager of Underground R&D
    Purple FrogUnderground R&DManager · #318
  • Mantella Frog, Manager of Brand Activation
    Mantella FrogBrand ActivationManager · #320
  • Southern Ground Hornbill, Manager of Public Affairs
    Southern Ground HornbillPublic AffairsManager · #322
  • Walrus, Manager of The Old Guard
    WalrusThe Old GuardManager · #325
  • Snow Fox, Manager of Remote Operations
    Snow FoxRemote OperationsManager · #326
  • Coelacanth, Manager of Legacy
    CoelacanthLegacyManager · #344
  • Emperor Scorpion, Manager of Security
    Emperor ScorpionSecurityManager · #346
  • Mantis Shrimp, Manager of Rapid Response
    Mantis ShrimpRapid ResponseManager · #359
  • Vampire Squid, Manager of After-Hours
    Vampire SquidAfter-HoursManager · #360
  • Sage Grouse, Manager of All-Hands
    Sage GrouseAll-HandsManager · #361
  • Coelacanth, Manager of Legacy
    CoelacanthLegacyManager · #362
  • Markhor, Manager of The Board
    MarkhorThe BoardManager · #365
  • Crow, Manager of Mergers & Acquisitions
    CrowMergers & AcquisitionsManager · #366
  • Chameleon, Manager of Public Relations
    ChameleonPublic RelationsManager · #370
  • Sea Hare, Manager of Defensive PR
    Sea HareDefensive PRManager · #372
  • Purple Frog, Manager of Underground R&D
    Purple FrogUnderground R&DManager · #375
  • Goblin Shark, Manager of Sudden Restructuring
    Goblin SharkSudden RestructuringManager · #382
  • Mantella Frog, Manager of Brand Activation
    Mantella FrogBrand ActivationManager · #384
  • Tuatara, Manager of Legacy Systems
    TuataraLegacy SystemsManager · #385
  • Tenrec, Manager of Quality Assurance
    TenrecQuality AssuranceManager · #388
  • Sea Hare, Manager of Defensive PR
    Sea HareDefensive PRManager · #392
  • Kinkajou, Manager of Night Shift
    KinkajouNight ShiftManager · #394
  • Chameleon, Manager of Public Relations
    ChameleonPublic RelationsManager · #395
  • Feather Star, Manager of Aesthetics
    Feather StarAestheticsManager · #396
  • Horseshoe Crab, Manager of Compliance
    Horseshoe CrabComplianceManager · #399
  • Markhor, Manager of The Board
    MarkhorThe BoardManager · #400
  • Emperor Scorpion, Analyst of Security
    Emperor ScorpionSecurityAnalyst · #402
  • Goblin Shark, Analyst of Sudden Restructuring
    Goblin SharkSudden RestructuringAnalyst · #404
  • Malayan Tapir, Analyst of Mergers
    Malayan TapirMergersAnalyst · #406
  • Snow Fox, Analyst of Remote Operations
    Snow FoxRemote OperationsAnalyst · #407
  • Gila Monster, Analyst of Collections
    Gila MonsterCollectionsAnalyst · #409
  • Fox, Analyst of Strategy
    FoxStrategyAnalyst · #412
  • Mantis Shrimp, Analyst of Rapid Response
    Mantis ShrimpRapid ResponseAnalyst · #415
  • Hellbender, Analyst of Old Guard
    HellbenderOld GuardAnalyst · #416
  • Tenrec, Analyst of Quality Assurance
    TenrecQuality AssuranceAnalyst · #417
  • Walrus, Analyst of The Old Guard
    WalrusThe Old GuardAnalyst · #420
  • Cassowary, Analyst of Workplace Safety
    CassowaryWorkplace SafetyAnalyst · #423
  • Tufted Deer, Analyst of Legal
    Tufted DeerLegalAnalyst · #426
  • Mantella Frog, Analyst of Brand Activation
    Mantella FrogBrand ActivationAnalyst · #435
  • Dumbo Octopus, Analyst of Remote Workforce
    Dumbo OctopusRemote WorkforceAnalyst · #437
  • Giant Centipede, Analyst of Multitasking
    Giant CentipedeMultitaskingAnalyst · #439
  • Flamingo, Analyst of Standards
    FlamingoStandardsAnalyst · #441
  • Proboscis Monkey, Analyst of Executive Leadership
    Proboscis MonkeyExecutive LeadershipAnalyst · #442
  • Jellyfish, Analyst of Governance
    JellyfishGovernanceAnalyst · #446
  • Zebra, Analyst of Risk
    ZebraRiskAnalyst · #450
  • Whip Spider, Analyst of Reach
    Whip SpiderReachAnalyst · #451
  • Hercules Beetle, Analyst of Strongman
    Hercules BeetleStrongmanAnalyst · #453
  • Malayan Tapir, Analyst of Mergers
    Malayan TapirMergersAnalyst · #458
  • Horseshoe Crab, Analyst of Compliance
    Horseshoe CrabComplianceAnalyst · #463
  • Southern Ground Hornbill, Analyst of Public Affairs
    Southern Ground HornbillPublic AffairsAnalyst · #465
  • Tardigrade, Analyst of Business Continuity
    TardigradeBusiness ContinuityAnalyst · #469
  • Secretary Bird, Analyst of Compliance Enforcement
    Secretary BirdCompliance EnforcementAnalyst · #470
  • Peacock Spider, Analyst of Pitch Decks
    Peacock SpiderPitch DecksAnalyst · #471
  • Armadillo Girdled Lizard, Analyst of Risk Containment
    Armadillo Girdled LizardRisk ContainmentAnalyst · #473
  • Kinkajou, Analyst of Night Shift
    KinkajouNight ShiftAnalyst · #474
  • Armadillo Girdled Lizard, Analyst of Risk Containment
    Armadillo Girdled LizardRisk ContainmentAnalyst · #482
  • Seahorse, Analyst of Diversity & Inclusion
    SeahorseDiversity & InclusionAnalyst · #485
  • Atlantic Puffin, Analyst of Customer Support
    Atlantic PuffinCustomer SupportAnalyst · #486
  • Seahorse, Analyst of Diversity & Inclusion
    SeahorseDiversity & InclusionAnalyst · #487
  • Mandrill, Analyst of Executive Presence
    MandrillExecutive PresenceAnalyst · #488
  • Coelacanth, Analyst of Legacy
    CoelacanthLegacyAnalyst · #489
  • Jellyfish, Analyst of Governance
    JellyfishGovernanceAnalyst · #491
  • Chihuahua, Analyst of Sales
    ChihuahuaSalesAnalyst · #498
  • Flamboyant Cuttlefish, Analyst of Events
    Flamboyant CuttlefishEventsAnalyst · #503
  • Kiwi, Analyst of Night Audit
    KiwiNight AuditAnalyst · #507
  • Vampire Squid, Analyst of After-Hours
    Vampire SquidAfter-HoursAnalyst · #511
  • Jack Russell Terrier, Analyst of Sales
    Jack Russell TerrierSalesAnalyst · #512
  • Kakapo, Analyst of Heritage
    KakapoHeritageAnalyst · #518
  • Hoatzin, Analyst of Sustainability
    HoatzinSustainabilityAnalyst · #520
  • Superb Lyrebird, Analyst of Comms
    Superb LyrebirdCommsAnalyst · #523
  • Tufted Deer, Analyst of Legal
    Tufted DeerLegalAnalyst · #524
  • Kakapo, Analyst of Heritage
    KakapoHeritageAnalyst · #527
  • Frilled Lizard, Analyst of Crisis Comms
    Frilled LizardCrisis CommsAnalyst · #530
  • Hoatzin, Analyst of Sustainability
    HoatzinSustainabilityAnalyst · #531
  • Mole, Analyst of Internal Audit
    MoleInternal AuditAnalyst · #532
  • Sage Grouse, Analyst of All-Hands
    Sage GrouseAll-HandsAnalyst · #535
  • Sage Grouse, Analyst of All-Hands
    Sage GrouseAll-HandsAnalyst · #537
  • Armadillo Girdled Lizard, Analyst of Risk Containment
    Armadillo Girdled LizardRisk ContainmentAnalyst · #544
  • Cassowary, Analyst of Workplace Safety
    CassowaryWorkplace SafetyAnalyst · #547
  • Sage Grouse, Analyst of All-Hands
    Sage GrouseAll-HandsAnalyst · #549
  • Fox, Analyst of Strategy
    FoxStrategyAnalyst · #552
  • Stargazer, Analyst of Visionary
    StargazerVisionaryAnalyst · #555
  • Aardvark, Analyst of Alphabetical Priority
    AardvarkAlphabetical PriorityAnalyst · #556
  • Jellyfish, Analyst of Governance
    JellyfishGovernanceAnalyst · #565
  • Border Terrier, Analyst of Pest Control
    Border TerrierPest ControlAnalyst · #569
  • Jack Russell Terrier, Analyst of Sales
    Jack Russell TerrierSalesAnalyst · #570
  • Gila Monster, Analyst of Collections
    Gila MonsterCollectionsAnalyst · #571
  • Peacock Spider, Analyst of Pitch Decks
    Peacock SpiderPitch DecksAnalyst · #572
  • Tardigrade, Analyst of Business Continuity
    TardigradeBusiness ContinuityAnalyst · #573
  • Red Panda, Analyst of Customer Delight
    Red PandaCustomer DelightAnalyst · #574
  • Superb Lyrebird, Analyst of Comms
    Superb LyrebirdCommsAnalyst · #575
  • Ocean Sunfish, Analyst of Dead Weight
    Ocean SunfishDead WeightAnalyst · #579
  • Alligator Snapping Turtle, Analyst of Negotiations
    Alligator Snapping TurtleNegotiationsAnalyst · #588
  • Tardigrade, Analyst of Business Continuity
    TardigradeBusiness ContinuityAnalyst · #589
  • Ocean Sunfish, Analyst of Dead Weight
    Ocean SunfishDead WeightAnalyst · #590
  • Saiga Antelope, Analyst of Air Quality
    Saiga AntelopeAir QualityAnalyst · #592
  • Atlantic Puffin, Analyst of Customer Support
    Atlantic PuffinCustomer SupportAnalyst · #593
  • Quokka, Analyst of Employee Experience
    QuokkaEmployee ExperienceAnalyst · #594
  • Slow Loris, Analyst of Cybersecurity
    Slow LorisCybersecurityAnalyst · #597
  • Greater Roadrunner, Analyst of Deadlines
    Greater RoadrunnerDeadlinesAnalyst · #599
  • Stargazer, Analyst of Visionary
    StargazerVisionaryAnalyst · #601
  • Tufted Deer, Analyst of Legal
    Tufted DeerLegalAnalyst · #604
  • Flamboyant Cuttlefish, Analyst of Events
    Flamboyant CuttlefishEventsAnalyst · #605
  • Secretary Bird, Analyst of Compliance Enforcement
    Secretary BirdCompliance EnforcementAnalyst · #606
  • Seahorse, Analyst of Diversity & Inclusion
    SeahorseDiversity & InclusionAnalyst · #607
  • Seahorse, Analyst of Diversity & Inclusion
    SeahorseDiversity & InclusionAnalyst · #608
  • Atlantic Puffin, Analyst of Customer Support
    Atlantic PuffinCustomer SupportAnalyst · #609
  • Markhor, Analyst of The Board
    MarkhorThe BoardAnalyst · #610
  • Kiwi, Analyst of Night Audit
    KiwiNight AuditAnalyst · #611
  • Alligator Snapping Turtle, Analyst of Negotiations
    Alligator Snapping TurtleNegotiationsAnalyst · #615
  • Cone Snail, Analyst of Legal
    Cone SnailLegalAnalyst · #617
  • Okapi, Analyst of Stealth Mode
    OkapiStealth ModeAnalyst · #619
  • Archerfish, Analyst of Targeted Marketing
    ArcherfishTargeted MarketingAnalyst · #621
  • Platypus, Analyst of Compliance
    PlatypusComplianceAnalyst · #622
  • Quokka, Analyst of Employee Experience
    QuokkaEmployee ExperienceAnalyst · #626
  • Crown-of-thorns Starfish, Analyst of Aggressive Growth
    Crown-of-thorns StarfishAggressive GrowthAnalyst · #627
  • Ocean Sunfish, Analyst of Dead Weight
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The Org Chart

A pyramid, as all things should be.

The Board is a strict meritocracy in which merit is determined by how unlikely you are to exist. The rarer the creature, the higher it rises — a system every HR consultant has described as “legally fascinating.”

CEO 1
C-Suite 8
VP 20
Director 50
Manager 99
Analyst 114
Intern 108
Total Headcount 400

From the Company History

The official record.
Mostly.

The Reshuffle

The Board was not founded. The Board convened, and simply never adjourned. Somewhere around the third agenda item (“Synergy: Are We?”), the humans quietly left to get coffee and were, organisationally speaking, never seen again. By 5:00 p.m. the org chart had quietly rearranged itself. By 5:01 p.m. it was load-bearing.

Make Good Art

Periodically a senior exec gestures at the room and asks the great question: “How do we pump the floor?” Two executives offer safe non-answers. Then a junior raises one finger and says the one true thing: “Make good art.” There is a silence. And the Capybara exits, briefly, through the third-floor window. It lands fine. It always lands fine.

Read the full filings
A boardroom. Someone says: make good art.
Exhibit A: company culture.

On Hedera

Why the Board
went on-chain.

The Board chose to incorporate on Hedera for reasons it described as “governance, finality, and a council we respect more than our own.” The truth is simpler: a network of inscrutable creatures reaching consensus very fast, no single one in charge despite all believing they are. They felt seen. They minted. They scheduled a follow-up.